This week’s song has been in my head for a number of reasons.
Firstly, this week saw the 30th anniversary of the death of John Lennon. Though I can't claim to have been as touched or inspired by him as many of my friends I do feel he was, and even in death continues to be, a very important person in musical and humanitarian terms.
'Real Love' was written and recorded by John over several takes between 1979 & 1980 but was never fully completed. In 1995 'Real Love' and another incomplete Lennon track, 'Free As A Bird', were reworked by the then surviving members of the band, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr and George Harrison. Both songs were released as singles - 'Free As A Bird' in late '95 and then 'Real Love' in '96 - and are, as Ringo Starr said when interviewed about recording the songs in '95, "...the end of the line, really. There's nothing more we can do as the Beatles.".
Secondly, this week I finally watched the films 'Before Sunrise' & 'Before Sunset'. Even though I wanted to see the former when it first came out in '95 and the latter in '04, I'm glad I didn't see them until now as I feel that to have seen them any earlier in my life before the experiences I've had would have meant I appreciated them less without realising it. Both are great films and I think are more realistic about love and relationships, in terms of what is said in the narrative, than most romantic movies.
Finally, due to the influence of the films, I've been flitting back and forth on my feelings on relationships and love all week. I've only had two serious relationships in my life. The first ended because I had changed as I got older and, though my ex is a wonderful person and still my best friend, I just didn't have the feelings I used to have for him. The second was a nightmare where I fell foul to physical and mental abuse, the emotional scars from which still have some lingering residue but which are getting less as time passes.
The last four years since then I have had minor flirtations and a couple of dates but nothing solid has sprung forth and, as I get older (I'm 31 next month), the fears of being alone and never finding the right person, raising a family of my own etc get stronger. There are days when I'm fine with it all and other days when I feel a strong sense of despair. I have met some amazing guys over the last few years, a couple who I could even have potentially let myself fall for, but I always either let my heart rule my head and get carried away only to be disappointed or I block it out completely for fear of being hurt.
Watching the films made me realise that, yes, a lot of it can be in your head - at least to begin with - but that ultimately love can be real and that settling for second best should never be an option because it'll only leave you wishing for the ones you preferred that went before, even if you'd not been the one for them.
I've learnt that one of my problems is that I can't tell so many things. I can't tell when someone just wants a good time and when they want more than that. I can't tell when I'm trying too hard or not trying hard enough. I can't tell whether someone is genuinely interested in me or not.
The only thing I know for certain is that I want real love. So here's hoping this song is the start and that positive things follow.
Catch you next week!!
The Beatles - Real Love
All my little plans and schemes,
Lost like some forgotten dreams.
Seems that all I really was doing
Was waitin' for you.
Just like little girls and boys,
Playing with their little toys.
Seems like all we really were doing
Was waitin' for love.
Don't need to be alone,
No need to be alone.
It's real love, it's real,
Yes it's real love, it's real.
From this moment on I know,
Exactly where my life will go.
Seems that all I really was doing
Was waitin' for love.
Don't need to be afraid,
No need to be afraid.
It's real love, it's real,
Yes it's real love, it's real.
Thought I'd been in love before,
But in my heart I wanted more.
Seems like all I really was doing
Was waitin' for you.
Don't to be alone,
No need to be alone.
It's real love, yeah it's real,
It's real love, it's real,
Yes, it's real love, it's real,
It's real love, it's real,
Yes it's real love, it's real,
It's real love, it's real,
Yes it's real love, it's real,
It's real love, it's real,
Yes it's real love....
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